For starters, move back to planet earth and then take driving lessons.  If you think the 'winter mommy mobile' 335xi can even carry the EVO's jockstrap, you're on fantasy island.  It floats and wallows like an SUV, by comparison.  You obviously didn't push the EVO hard enough on real roads because--if you did--you'd learn what other magazines have......the EVO FEELS like it's going to oversteer, but keep your foot in it and it just GOES ROUND THE CORNER.  And noisy?  You should have removed your Bose Noise Cancelling Headset.....I could barely hear the engine during a test ride (I own an EVO IX MR).  Why is that every other reviewer, at every other magazine, thinks the new EVO is now TOO civilized and you don't?  Could it be that you're just Cadillac DTS material?  

I agree...Jason has serious driving skills based upon the cars tested.  Appears that the 335xi is much faster than a 135i elsewhere in the Automobile magazine and Subs and EVO are most probably under 5 secs for 0-60 times.  

Commonsense? Hmm, ironic.

Listen, joking aside, the story was comparing the Evo X to the STI and the 335xi, not to your Exo IX. Yes, compared to an Evo IX, the new car is quiet and civilized. Not compared to the STI or 335xi.

And I think I made it pretty clear that I'm 335i-material; not DTS material.

The Evo's handling is incredible, no question about that. It oversteers just enough to help the car around corners -- I didn't say it threw itself into orbit and spun off the road.

And the performance numbers? Those were measured by Don Sherman, our tech editor, who's been testing cars since before, as I think he phrased it, I was even "a stain on a sheet."

Sorry you disagree with the verdict. But all four of us on that comparison came to the same conclusion: the Evo is the handler, the STI is the cruiser; but neither can, to use your phrase, carry the 3-series' jockstrap as a real car.

 

And in case you were interested, here is the accompanying article:
What Would Jason Do?

 

Jason-
You are a great writer, and I think you are terrific for Automobile. I'm a 35 y/o married guy with a 2 year old son. Subie wants Jason as bad as they want yours truly. I drive an '07 Civic Si 4-door. See my posts on General Topics to see how badly I get beat on for that.
Your idea of the article was OK, but really. the STi v EVO v BMW was kinda reaching. As fascinating as the Subie and Mitsu may be, the deck was stacked against them from the get-go.
Why? Well, BMW didn't design the 3-series, in base form, to compete against the base Impreza or Lancer. What seasoned auto journo wouldn't say yeah, the BMW is the superior vehicle? Can I say DUH?
Same thing goes when you compare a Pontiac G8 to a BMW 5-series. Wow?!?! You mean the BMW has the better interior? For what, $15,000+ more? I am stunned! Jason, is the nicer interior on the 3 or 5 series worth the extra cost?
Really now.....what WOULD Jason do?